Answered Prayers

Answered Prayers

Perhaps this is a little “out there” but I think I found my life purpose. Maybe not all of it, but I think I have a pretty decent idea. It has nothing to do with work or school, just something personal and more faith-based. Through my humanitarian experiences I have learnt so much and have had the opportunity to work alongside some absolutely incredibly people. But without knowing it, I was (or am) considered to be some people’s answered prayers. Imagine that. I am an answered prayer.

We often do good deeds, whether big or small, it is still an act of kindness. But I think we need to give ourselves some credit. Sure, sometimes we feel really good after doing something nice- and that’s okay. So long as you don’t forget the reasoning behind your actions in the first place. Sometimes I underestimate what I do. Sometimes I think that I am not unique because there are so many other people doing humanitarian work- even better than I am doing. Or sometimes I feel like I am making the slightest difference but it’s never enough. But the reality of it is, I am unique. I am making a difference. And so are you. For those of you reading- you are making a difference just by reading my blog. You are willing to educate yourself on what I am going through and the realities in developing countries. Everybody has their own way of giving and their own way of learning. Be proud of yourself.

One of my best friends, Sarah, recently wrote a blog on tumblr that inspired me. It talks about how we don’t feel worthy when something good comes along and how we compare ourselves to others too often. And it is so true. We need to give ourselves a little more credit because we are all different people and we must learnt to appreciate ourselves. (Feel free to read more; the link is at the bottom of the blog- it is an awesome post!!!)

Now back on track… I’ve come to realize that with such small gestures I am able to be someone’s answered prayer. How amazing is that? If you ask me, that is an incredible gift that I am given and I feel so honoured that God has chosen me to do this for Him. It is truly amazing. During my first house build in the Dominican Republic, the mother of the family said that our team was her answered prayers. I could not stop thinking about it. And still to this day, I think about it. It has inspired me so much.

With that being said, my life purpose… My life purpose is to continue to be people’s answered prayers. The best part about it is that I don’t ask people what they pray for, I literally just do things or come across things that I want to help with. I don’t go looking to be an answered prayer, it just happens. With God’s guidance, nothing is impossible. My mother always told me God brought me onto this earth to help others and I truly believe it. He brought me here to be people’s answered prayers and I encourage each and every one of you to try and be the same. Or at least open yourself up to the idea. It is an incredible feeling to not only know that you are serving God, but to know that you are restoring faith in other people. How amazing is that! I am feeling so inspired and so grateful that my purpose in life is one full of such beauty, hope, and faith. I cannot wait to continue to embrace my purpose throughout the rest of my life and continue to spread love and faith everywhere I go.

Have you ever been someone’s answered prayer? Maybe you have and you just don’t realize it? Take some time to reflect on your life and think about the times you have done something awesome for someone or maybe someone has done something amazing for you. Feels pretty good right? He’s watching over you, always.

Until next time,

God Bless You

Lots of Love,

Bianca

Here is the link to Sarah’s tumblr blog! Check it out :) 

http://inspiredtobeaninspiration.tumblr.com/post/45565086190/when-you-dont-feel-worthy-has-there-ever-been-a

A Friend is Always A Friend- by Osman Joe

Hey! So this is a blog about last weeks adventures! It was written by my friend, Osman Joe, and his experience seeing the ocean for the very first time in his life! :) Enjoy!

A Friend is Always A Friend

For the first time in my life I had a friend who promised to take me to the southern part of Ghana. I was so happy for the whole day; I didn’t even feel like eating. I was so excited and I kept imagining how the south would be. Hmmmm.

On March 1^st I left Tamale in the Northern part of Ghana and was all praying to see the southern part of Ghana. By then, my friend was already there and I needed to meet her. I was so happy because I have already missed her for two days in advance so I am happy to see her and happy to be in the south. At 2p.m. I was in Kumasi and it was so amazing after I saw her and Kumasi was awesome as well. Then I thanked God for myself and being able to see the south in my lifetime and also adding my friend Bianca into my prayers for making me go to the south. I was so grateful about her simply because I am born in the northern part of Ghana (Tamale) and I am 26 years old and I have never been to the southern part of Ghana before and was not even dreaming of going there because I have no relatives there and I don’t have anybody there. So me being in the south was so special for me and even my aim of going to the south was that – my friend Bianca wanted me to see the Atlantic Ocean, which I was nervous to see as well.

            On March 2^nd I saw the Atlantic Ocean for the first time in Cape Coast. I was on the bus and I could not stop looking simply because it was surprising that I couldn’t see the end of it. And I never thought there was a body of water where one could not see the end. After that, I was still thinking about it for almost one hour while on the bus approaching Takoradi. It was really fun, amazing, and very exciting. I became speechless; I don’t even know how to thank my wonderful friend Bianca. So then we arrived in Takoradi and looked for a ride to Busua so that I can touch the Atlantic Ocean and swim in it.

            On March 3^rd I was in Busua. That was the first day I touched the Atlantic Ocean and swam in it. When I first stepped into the ocean I committed my friend Bianca and myself into God’s hands and thanked Him for that happy moment. The ocean water is the water I like most to swim, even more than the pool waters. Also by then I felt like I was born again, like a new born baby, and I didn’t feel like leaving the premise of the Atlantic Ocean. So then we went to Dixcove where the slave castle is found, called Fort Metal Cross. In fact, my journey was the best- I cannot even describe it. I know I have a lot to say in the future simply because it is like a miracle to me. It is a miracle for me meeting her and for the steps we took together (travelling, etc.). So I have seen that it is necessary to have a good friend who is a chosen one from God and I also pledge on the saying that it is good to travel and see and I think that is the best in life for everyone to taste.

Osman Joe 

“With a friend by your side, all long roads seem shorter”

The Truth Hurts

The Truth Hurts

When I first arrived in Ghana, I was with two other female volunteers. Two of us were working with gender and the other working with child rights. Before we started our placements we did some training and had some gender chats. We discussed how vulnerable women are and how easy it is for women to become oppressed and remain silent. We also discussed how it even happens to us in Canada- it is not just something that happens in the developing world. Each and everyday somebody falls silent because they are forced to believe they have no right to speak out. Everyday women fall into the trap of being oppressed by the men in their lives. It has happened to many people, and it has happened to me.

I didn’t notice it until now- but I fell into the trap. I don’t know when it happened or how it happened, but I became vulnerable and I became oppressed. Damongo is a patrilineal, male-dominated society where the men have very aggressive opinions and attitudes. They often think they are above the women- a lot of it has to do with who makes the larger income. I got to experience this first hand- unfortunately. I work in an office with two people- my boss who is a female and another coworker who is a male- both are from Ghana. I have noticed a huge gender issue in my workplace- which is ironic considering I work in the Girls Education Unit, promoting gender equality.

Lately I have found myself reflecting on my internship and have found something shocking about my workplace and myself. I am a victim of gender discrimination. I have many opinions about development and how to achieve gender equality, but my male coworker often- if not always- disagrees. But he doesn’t just disagree, he interrogates me. My ideas are constantly shut down and my opinions are rarely heard. Through this, I have become silent. I fear saying what I want to say and I am awfully uncomfortable in my workplace. I fear being constantly rejected and being treated as somebody of lower status (because I am a woman). I didn’t notice it until recently when I was reading a book on the emancipation of women- realizing that I too was one of the women described in the book. My status, even as a foreigner, is below the men in my town- simply because I am a girl. My opinion is not valued and my expertise is not wanted. I have little to no say in what gets done and because my thoughts are constantly shut down- I no longer have the confidence to speak up.

To be quite honest, it is a really sad truth. And to be more honest- it hurts. I am here to promote gender and I, myself, am falling into the trap? But how did I end up working with somebody who makes me feel this way. (Side note: he is also here to promote gender equality…). I don’t know when it happened or how I fell into this trap, but I am incredibly disappointed and hurt. How am I to overcome this? For starters, if I speak up and say my opinion matters I will be accused of being western and imposing my western views on them (which has happened before). But how am I to put my opinions in place if I am not comfortable expressing them? It has been an incredible challenge that I have absolutely no idea how to go about dealing with it. Because it simply isn’t anything I can do. Of course I have a confidence problem- but more importantly I think it brings up the issues of gender and how it is not one sided. Although I need to be more confident and stand strong, it is important that the men are educated on how to treat women equally- beginning with how to speak to women! I think it is so important to educate the men on gender issues and how to treat women appropriately. Of course this will take an incredibly long time- especially in a male-dominated society like Damongo.

It is safe to say that I have been feeling rather dull lately and almost disappointed for allowing myself to become so vulnerable. Truth be told, it took me a long time to notice it.

I started to notice it during the Child Rights Workshop… oh boy, I mine as well share the story now- I’ve been hiding it for a month now… so here we go.

We put on a Child Rights Workshop and one of the topics discussed was child abuse. Child abuse is huge in the schools in Damongo- teachers often cane the students (hit them with a stick) as a form of punishment. On the first day, my male coworker told the teachers that it was okay to cane the student so long as the punishment suits the crime. I later asked my female boss what she thought and she disagreed and said they should never hit a student- yet she didn’t speak up. Perhaps she too is fearful of his male-dominant attitude and aggressive tone. I then asked the chief of the Commission on Human Rights and Administrative Justice (CHRAJ) if he thought it was okay and he also said no, you should never cane a child. Yet nobody spoke up!

The next day we did the same workshop with community members. We were going through child abuse and again, my male coworker began to speak out. I wanted to stop him before he said it was okay to cane a child so I (mildly) interrupted him. He put his hand up to my face and said “no.” So I tried again and he said “no” and continued talking. I looked at my female boss and said “Madam, really?” and I left the front floor and went to sit on my chair by the side of the room. My female boss started to interrupt the man and said that I have something to say- by this point I was holding back tears and refused to talk. I couldn’t handle it anymore, I turned to my boss and burst into tears and grabbed her to pull her out of the room. Yep, I cried… in front of 65 community members. I continued to cry in my boss’ arms, followed by a horrible anxiety attack. She took me to the office where we called my friend to come meet me- thank goodness for good friends! It wasn’t until then that people started to express their opinions to me about my male coworker. So you mean I’m not the only one having problems with him? So why isn’t anybody saying anything? It is when people remain silent that problems arise and get even worse.

Later that day I received a call- from my male coworker. Here I thought, oh maybe an apology? Nope. He called to ask if I was going to visit a Girls Club. Are you kidding me! You have the nerve to call me after that. The reality of it is that he had (and still has) absolutely no idea what he did wrong. It’s unbelievable.

Another way I started to notice my vulnerability was when the chief of CHRAJ was talking about bullying and ways to recognize it. He mentioned that a sign of bullying was when an individual purposely avoids certain people. And I was doing just that. I wanted to avoid this man at every possible moment- which proved to be quite difficult considering we work in the same office. But other than work, I choose not to associate with him other than exchanging greetings.

The reality of it is, I am being oppressed and verbally/mentally abused in my workplace. I mean, its not nearly as bad as it sounds, but it is still an important issue to be raised. I will most certainly use this as a learning experience and will not hold back on sharing this story. Women and girls need to understand and more importantly, need to recognize when they are being abused and oppressed.

I have learnt a number of things while being in Ghana- most of them frustrating. But this one, this one if more painful than anything. With time I will overcome it and use it as a way to promote gender equality. As for right now, I am eager to come home and have incredible talks with my friends and family about development and the issues I have encountered. Already I have had so much support and advice given to me, it is unbelievable! It has helped me get through so much and certainly keeps me motivated.

So I want to extend a huge thank you to all of my friends and family (especially those who wrote notes- they keep me going!!). I cannot wait to see you all in just 18 days!!

Lots of Love,

Bianca

Takeaway Lessons:

                  -   Gender is NOT one-sided: we must educate the men!

                 -   Don’t keep silent about things that matter: the less you say the worse it is

                 -   Women’s status can be raised through income-generating activities

                 -   Abuse is NOT a cultural thing, no matter what people say

The Power of My Skin

In the pre-departure training we also talked about the "social power flower" and how our social standings will differ from Canada to Ghana. This can be related to your education, religion, age, etc. For example, elders are more respected in Ghana but in Canada it is usually 30-50 year olds. So lately I have found myself thinking so much about being white and how our skin defines us in so many ways.

Another intern in Ghana recently left (two months early), and one of the main reasons she went home was because of power dynamics- she felt so privileged because of her white skin and didn't like it (I don't blame her). For example, she said she wanted to do a sexual reproductive workshop for the girls clubs and was able to do so without any requirements. Her boss assumed that she knew everything about the topic because she was white and educated. Although this is largely possible, my Ghanaian friend brought up a good point about how her boss wouldn't want to insult her by asking her qualifications- which is hugely part of the Ghanaian culture. So that is one thought, but looking back on our social power flower- our currently unfinished undergraduate education is incredibly powerful in a country like Ghana.

Similarly, there is a huge amount of trust placed on us as white people. They trust our knowledge so much. To be honest, I was really bothered by the fact that just because our skin is white we are 'all knowing.' After discussing this with another friend, he mentioned a really important point that I want to share. As white people coming into developing countries, it is important that we work alongside nationals as well- but also, it is so important that we use our white "powerful" skin in the right way. We have white skin and we are praised for it and trusted because of it, but it is our responsibility as white people to use it appropriately. We must use the power that our white skin has to do good in the world, to use the trust wisely and to do better- certainly not to take advantage of anything or anyone. I thought this was incredibly wise- so I encourage you to be responsible with the white skin that you have- because the reality of it is that people do place a lot of trust in us and we do draw a lot of attention...

Another personal problem I am having also deals with being white... I feel strangely comfortable when I see white people around, I feel more in my comfort zone. Which I think is incredibly sad- and I don't like it at all. I love my Ghanaian friends but for some reason when I see another Obruni (white person) in town I feel obliged and excited to meet them and talk to them. I'm not sure if it is because I can have a more intelligent conversation about development issues or if I am exhausted of being a minority and being constantly stared at... regardless I feel comfortable and more inclined to talk to them- which is really strange.

I also had a similar experience when I went to the clinic and found the doctor to be a white man from the UK... I felt comfortable and felt as though he somehow had a better education and was more knowledgeable. I am finding myself incredibly judgmental lately and it scares me. The reality of it is, everything that the social power flower suggests is so true. Our education is more developed and I guess I trust in it more? I just find it really strange how comfortable I am with white people and how much even I, as a white person, trust in them...

Regardless, there is a lot of incredible information that the social power flower can offer. I encourage you to draw a flower and compare your powers between Canada and another country. Mark each petal as something different: age, gender, religion, health, education, etc. and put a mark on the petal where you think it stands- the closer to the middle of the flower the more powerful! It is really interesting to compare in the end!

It is difficult to be a white person in a developing country, especially when you don't want to impose your views (or the westernized views) on a completely different culture. It is definitely something you need to adapt to but something that you can learn a lot from! Any comments or questions are welcome!

Lots of Love,

Bianca

Contradicting Paradoxes

Hello!

So it is safe to say I am feeling so much better (I had malaria for a few days) and am safe and sound back in my little town of Damongo. I traveled to Kumasi (in the Ashanti region of Ghana- more central) and then to Busua (in the Western region- very south by the ocean) so I have not been blogging and for that I apologize! (There might be a blog on that soon- stay tuned)

I have had a rough week, mainly because I was sick and therefore incredibly home sick but also because I am coming to terms with the realities of my internship. Before I left for my internship, we had some pre-departure training that discussed paradoxes that may occur during your internship. Well I find the paradoxes to be difficult to relate to and often contradicting. So here it goes...

Realizing that I only have two weeks left in my actual placement up north before heading back to the city for my end of mandate reporting is really scary. I feel like the time flew by and in a way, I have done (close to) nothing...

Some of the paradoxes we discussed in school are the following:

Its all about you but its not about you

In reality, my internship has been completely about me. I pretty much did absolutely no work and had no impact in my workplace at all. I had little to no contributions and to be honest, I am quite disappointed. On a positive note, my internship has been entirely about me and has been a huge learning experience. I have learnt so much about how the government works (or doesn't work) and about the issues in rural areas. So in that sense I am satisfied and have learnt a lot, but in reality- my internship was solely about me. I find this to be fairly upsetting and I know there is nothing I can do about it. I spoke with my boss from WUSC and she simply said just do what you can, you leave soon. Quite inspiring right? But the problems don't necessarily lie with WUSC, but with my actual workplace itself- and how incredibly inefficient and unmotivated my coworkers are. There is, however, a huge belief that short-term interns are only here to learn- which I think is really wrong and really - in a way- rude. It is almost as though they disvalue short-term interns. I have traveled and worked in many countries and I am a third year development student, surely I can bring something! I am not just here to learn, I am (or was) here to work. Unfortunately this has left me incredibly unmotivated and feeling very unvalued.. which leads me to my next paradox...

You get out of it what you put into it

Unfortunately I realized this a bit too late. While the entire month of January was spent doing next to nothing, I was still trying to adapt to the new culture and way of life in the north. By the time I realized that I get out of it what I put into it... I felt as though it was too late. There is so much that needs to be done to improve the system that it would take a long time, and I only have two weeks left. Similarly, a lot of my coworkers don't agree with what I have to say and I feel very uncomfortable discussing problems with them because they (particularly one man) often ignores my opinion and continuously argue everything I have to say. It has been really hard to deal with and has left me, again, unmotivated. Which is quite sad because I came into my internship incredibly upbeat and so excited to work. But the slow pace and lack of motivation in my workplace has left me to be the same- unmotivated and discouraged.

You're wanted but not needed:

I find this to be the completely opposite. I am not sure if I am completely here because a "foreigner looks good" but I am certainly not wanted. I have never been put to work, despite constantly asking for something to do. However, I am definitely needed. The system I work in is incredibly broken and, in my opinion, they need me. I feel like since they have been working within the broken system for so long that they actually don't see it as a problem anymore. But since I came in from the outside, the problems have been incredibly clear to me. However, they still refuse to use me despite the fact that I am needed. It also doesn't help that my opinions don't seem to matter to much in my workplace... which has been incredibly frustrating considering I didn't travel halfway across the world to do nothing and feel unvalued/disrespected...

This is not to sound super negative or like I am not enjoying my internship- and I certainly don't regret it. Just simply that it is not at all what I expected and is in fact everything I didn't expect. But that is okay, although it came as a surprise the amount of things I have learnt has been so incredible. I can't even begin to explain it! Things that I wouldn't have been able to learn in class or on 10 day humanitarian trip, and for that I am so thankful for this experience! So two weeks left of this learning experience before I head to Kumasi/Accra for my end-of-mandate reporting and then... back home!!!

Miss you all
Lots of Love!

Bianca